Mobileread
Smashwords sitewide promotion!
#11  Marcy 07-09-2010, 11:40 PM
Oliver-

I hope you don't mind criticisms. If so, just ignore this post. Again, I'm trying to be helpful, not mean. Plus, I am a bad critiquer. I know that I do or don't like something, but have a hard time saying why. So I'm doing my best to explain what I thought.

I did buy and read The Most Beautiful Woman, since you had it on sale for free. My first suggestion is to make it free always. Charging even 99ยข for a 6 page story is a bit much.

The story itself is fine, but the actual writing has lost a lot in translation. It doesn't really flow well in English and comes across as stilted in places and just awkward at times. And the descriptions don't flow. I think you need a native English speaker to help you, if your English professor isn't one. Growing up in a language is much different than learning it later on.

I admire you for even trying a story in a language other than your native one. I can't even write in my native tongue, forget another one.

-Marcy
Reply 

 « First  « Prev   (2/2)
Today's Posts | Search this Thread | Login | Register